The God Dichotomy: Chapter 1

Chapter 1 - My Grandfather's Message

"Is that God?" My little sister asked as the priest, in his flowing robe, entered the altar area of, what is today, the Dechant Marcus Scheiermann Catholic Church. Taken aback and embarrassed by the chuckles and faces suddenly turned her way, my Aunt Trautchen hastily said, "No" while placing her index finger over her puckered lips. It was a story I heard numerous times and my aunt always laughed as she retold my sister's initial interaction with the world of religion. For me, it was the first time someone I was close to had actually stepped inside a church and, while not seeing God himself, saw someone who was certainly a lot closer to him than I was. I had walked past the Catholic Church on Eupenerstrasse in Bremerhaven, Germany frequently and always saw it as the place where God lived. Having been told that He was always watching and judging people, it was a place I wasn't eager to visit.

Let me be perfectly honest, I am not a religious scholar, nor am I a minister advocating the message of a belief system, nor am I a zealot caught up in the dogmas of any particular creed, nor was I a member of a household whose activities were bound by the politics of any religion. My background in religion or spirituality, however you would describe it, is much more unassuming. My tendency to question things and to occasionally read books whose central messages reside in the depths of philosophical reasoning often create a whirlwind of questions that, for the large part, are central to the formulation of my belief system.

I believe in God or in some Higher Power that is central to our existence and the universe, as we know it; I believe in its omnipotence, omniscience and omnipresence. Most importantly, I believe in its goodness, empathy and compassion; attributes most religions or beliefs identify as love and forgiveness. What this Higher Power is, or where It resides, or how we are connected to It, has been debated for ages. In a world where scientific proof is required to silence the skeptics, God is not a tangible being, rather He exists in my innate consciousness that refuses to be silenced and continues to ask questions.

My very first introduction to a Higher Power came from a quote my grandfather often repeated to my mother, "You don't have to go to church to believe in God." At the time that insight meant little to a young boy more intent on playing and getting into trouble than worrying about the meaning of God and religion. To me, God was this ever-present figure, high above, watching everyone to make sure people would do what they were supposed to and punish the ones who did not. God was a figure to be feared, a judge who would determine people's fate in deciding who would go to heaven and who would burn in the fires of hell.

Believing in a judgmental god remained with me through much of my lifetime and, if I'm not careful, I occasionally fall into that same trap today. Ingrained principles imbedded into the psyche at a young age are difficult to let go of even as one matures. Churches, as my grandfather undoubtedly believed, tend to impede people's advancement through their dogma by ensnaring individuals in doctrines more intent on serving the church body. Teaching the need for forgiveness, the importance of holy sacraments, the infallibility of the church hierarchy, tithing and the wrath of God only serves to imprison people in a belief system from which there is little hope of escape. After all, the church is the individual's intermediary that paves the way to God's forgiveness and righteousness.

With that upbringing, I began religious studies at Bethany Lutheran Church when I was in junior high school. It was there that I heard about a new Lutheran high school that was opening for the 1960 school year. I ended up attending Martin Luther High School in Woodside, New York. Confirmation enabled me to partake in the Holy Communion Sacrament, which served to strengthen my belief in a forgiving God, one who was somewhere out there and needed to be worshipped. Prayer became the recommended communication system should one desire to contact God for need or forgiveness. God was this external all-powerful, all knowing and ever present being from whom there was no escape. However, through church participation and support, anyone who believed the dogma would be saved from eternal damnation. The church had the inside track to God and his goodness.

Although I had an overwhelming spiritual experience in the mid 1980's, it wasn't until I met my second wife, Jannette, that my beliefs began to change. I began to understand that there was such a thing as spirituality. While the term wasn't foreign to me it had been, to my understanding, synonymous with religion. As I learned later, nothing could have been further from the truth. God, I learned, is a spiritual being from whom all things emanate, including us. We are spiritual beings. We are creators of our material reality. We are creations of a Divine Being who loves us unconditionally, regardless of who we are, what we do or what we believe. To Be continued...

#thegoddichotomy #god #spiritual #spirituality #brotherhood #HansBenes